Here it goes: Damon and I are getting ready to do our taxes. That all too familiar time of year that I think everyone dreads this time of year. As we open our W2's we realize that we are very blessed because we are on the poverty level. As I am a Social Worker I am well aware of all of the federal and state help that we could qualify for because of the accident and we didn't work very much last year.
As I was getting my taxes ready, I was looking through my mileage for the record I have to keep for taxes and saw the last date that I kept track of that morning I left before the accident happened. Everything else was blank in the book. As I examined the blankness of the book I could not help to think that this evidence was left was pages without miles that I had taken in my car, but there have been emotional and heartache miles that would wrap around the book pages and pages long.
For me it was hard to see that morning I had laid to pen the miles I was started out as I went to work that day and for a brief moment I thought to myself....
I was pregnant and Livi was with me the time I was writing this and how much I took for granted...just then. If looking back and seeing what was going to happen I would tell her how grateful I was for her....because she was going to save my life that day. I would tell her that I was so glad to be her Mom and that she would forever be with me, not carried inside of me but forever carried within my heart. I hope she would be proud of me being her Mom for only a few brief months.
"Tax"ing - you see physically I am on the downward of recovery. My pins are out of my feet. I am walking...with a limp. My ankle is still sore. But what you don't see and what is most "tax"ing is this...an empty nursery, a closet full of clothes...and empty arms.
May we all see that sometimes the "tax"ing things in life are not seen but are felt in the hearts o others.