HAPPY

Two friends have shared with me some great news recently. It has helped me to see that life is still happy and that life still brings good things!!!! It makes me very happy! I realized that life is about seeing the happy times and looking at the bright side to carry us through.

I also wanted to share with you another blog that my "Sista" and I have been working on. It is
http://poshpurses.blogspot.com/

May we all find things that we can be happy about.

Miracles

Little Liam came into this world screaming and kicking and ready to eat. Such a boy! He weighed 7 lbs and was 18 1/2 inches long. He is so cute. I can't stop holding him. He giggles and coos and he is very fussy if he isn't tucked into his blanket. I guess I would be fussy if I wasn't tucked in either right? He is a great combo of his Dad and his Mom. He has his Mom's lips and probably her eyes and he has his Dad's nose. He has very long fingers and toes.

Babies bring Heaven close. Babies are miracles.

Heaven came close when I received two Beautiful art pieces on the same day Liam came as a remembrance of our dear little Livi. They are so beautiful and when I saw them I cried. Heart String connections to friends are Miracles.

I cried.....
I cried when I entered the hospital room of a dear friend L. that is recovering from surgery. All too familiar you are so tired but you keep your eyes open. The pain medications make you itch. You get dizzy - easily... But the one thing that surgery can't ever remove from you is.....
YOU ARE....
You Are...beautiful, strong, believer, survivor, beautiful mother and wife, light, hope and faith.
You ARE....L.a miracle.

A tiny little miracle came as I was driving back from the hospital and I thought to myself....are the sounds coming from my new car....really marbles that are stuck somewhere and always slide when I turn. Very annoying. Annoying. It sounds like marbles going up and down the dash board. Getting out of the car, I realized not marbles in the dashboards but screws in the side door pockets. All eight of them. Yeah no need for dashboard diagnostics!!!!

May we see the big and small miracles that happen each and everyday.

My toliet seat riser was Jimmered!

Yesterday at church I was in the Library and I overheard some cute mothers talking about the toilet training and I thought to myself.....maybe it is time to do some toilet training myself! I hope all of you who read my blog and come to related and find humor in my struggles as I am still learning to find the bright side of all of this that has happened to me.

You see my knees both can't bend that far and I had to have a toilet seat riser to be able to get off the toilet without falling down and being stuck on the floor!

Here is to knee bending and getting off the toilet without any adaptive devices. Here is to toilets. They are a great blessing and we shouldn't take them for granted.

I heard the garbage truck pull up. I made a mad dash towards the bathroom and took the toilet seat riser off and threw it in the garbage!!! Here is to my cute neighbor Anna L. who cheered with me as I slam dunked it in just like Jimmer. He would be so jealous!!!!!

Here is to everyone who has small achievements that make us proud everyday!!!!

Beauty

Tonight my "sista" and Kai Bear went to a Fireside and the topic was "beauty" by Stephanie Nielson who was a plane crash survivor. Little Kai bear was bouncing all over the place so Sophie and I found a room that had a speaker to listen to what she had to say.

To say the least it was beautiful. She is a survivor and I related to her in so many ways. I think for those of us that have had near death experiences and trials that endure physical and emotional pain there is a connection to others and empathy that opens one's heart to understanding that no one else might be able to relate to.

Latley I have been really struggling with body image. There is not a part of my body from my toes to my chest that does not carry a "scar" from the accident. I joke with Damon that my cutest body part are only my left toes because they have glitter toes on them.

Tonight I realized that really "beauty" is only skin deep. That real beauty comes from the smile within your heart and the attitude you take in loving life and what life brings your way.

May we all try to see the true "beauty" that lies inside of each of us.

"Tax"ing

Here it goes: Damon and I are getting ready to do our taxes. That all too familiar time of year that I think everyone dreads this time of year. As we open our W2's we realize that we are very blessed because we are on the poverty level. As I am a Social Worker I am well aware of all of the federal and state help that we could qualify for because of the accident and we didn't work very much last year.

As I was getting my taxes ready, I was looking through my mileage for the record I have to keep for taxes and saw the last date that I kept track of that morning I left before the accident happened. Everything else was blank in the book. As I examined the blankness of the book I could not help to think that this evidence was left was pages without miles that I had taken in my car, but there have been emotional and heartache miles that would wrap around the book pages and pages long.

For me it was hard to see that morning I had laid to pen the miles I was started out as I went to work that day and for a brief moment I thought to myself....

I was pregnant and Livi was with me the time I was writing this and how much I took for granted...just then. If looking back and seeing what was going to happen I would tell her how grateful I was for her....because she was going to save my life that day. I would tell her that I was so glad to be her Mom and that she would forever be with me, not carried inside of me but forever carried within my heart. I hope she would be proud of me being her Mom for only a few brief months.

"Tax"ing - you see physically I am on the downward of recovery. My pins are out of my feet. I am walking...with a limp. My ankle is still sore. But what you don't see and what is most "tax"ing is this...an empty nursery, a closet full of clothes...and empty arms.

May we all see that sometimes the "tax"ing things in life are not seen but are felt in the hearts o others.