Home Metephors

Yesterday I went home to my house which I haven't stepped foot in since June 24th. I didn't actually get to step foot in it - more like drove my wheelchair into my home. Things have changed and stayed the same - all the same, it was bittersweet experience for me.

Changes - Never take for granted the opportunity you have for health and the ability to walk independently. Now we have a huge wheelchair ramp that takes up our garage. Instead of a two car garage we have a wheelchair ramp and one car garage.

Doors were widened. My walker had to be right by me at all times. Couch was too close to get off the ground for me to stand up and be able to walk easily. I am now the proud owner of two toilet raisers. I never thought I would have to use these! The front lawn was completely torn up to place in the new sprinkler system and to do landscaping.

How this relates - Things have stayed the same. - I am grateful that I am simply alive. I required 16 units of blood to keep me going during the trauma surgeries. The average person requires 8. There is a huge reason that I am still here and I am thankful for my health and for the opportunity to have my legs and to walk with assistance.

Instead of my doors being widen, my heart has. Thank you to all of my family members where ever you may be for your love support and prayers and for all of the wonderful little things that have opened my heart to see how much I am blessed. And how grateful I am for my individual relationship with all my family members.

To all my friends, thank you for taking time out of your busy lives to come and provide a wide opportunity for tears, laughter, making up for old times and showing me that your friends can provide you with strength to keep going. You are like the walker I have to use now. My friends are always there when I need strength to stand. Also like the walker that is brand new, through this experience I have gained new friendships that are amazing.

To the toilet raisers - The thing that has stayed the same is that I continue to need the use of a toilet as all of us do. Thank heavens for toilets! This experience has proved to be that I can raise above anything - including the toilet!

To the torn up lawn - this experience has torn be to pieces. Physically - I have never dealt with intense physically pain - that I thought would never get better or ever go away. Emotionally - I have been "broken" to pieces, I never thought that I would walk away from August 27th with empty arms that would not hold my dear, sweet and tender Livi - that I waited so long to have.

As the lawn is getting fixed - I hope my fixing will come in time with healing. Physically I have started to heal and are learning each day that slowly the physical pain is decreasing. Emotionally I will always be torn in pieces but as a new lawn provides beauty, this experience of being a Mom to Livi is beautiful and I will never regret all that I have learned - it has been beautiful.

Here is to wheelchair ramps, toilet seat raisers, walkers and a new lawn. Here is to coming home!

Skipbo and King in the Corner

Today during Occupational therapy I played my two favorite games. Skipbo and King in the Corner. They are both forms of Solitaire. It is good to keep the mind active while partaking of the pain medication. I played with my cousin Melissa. She came up to visit with me and spent the day with me because Saturday's are boring and laid back for sure. I enjoy the girl time for sure.

Here is what I have to relate to life and cards.
In the game of Skipbo- if you are the winner you are able to get rid of the piles of cards that you have the quickest. However it is all by chance. In life and especially with me dealing with the cards I have been dealt (the accident) it was all chance. But I relate to the piles of cards as trials. Some are dealt a small hand, others are dealt a bigger hand but in the end we learn from the cards we are dealt and it molds us into the people we are and the perspective and outlook we have on life. I can choose to have this experience destroy me or I can choose to keep my faith and strength and determination and face things head on with a positive outlook, over a situation that I had no control over. I choose to face the "pile of trials" in hopes of becoming a stronger and more resilient woman.

Kings in the Corner - This game is played by allowing the King Card to be placed in the four corners and then the cards go in descending order and color. I learned that I had many "Kings" in my corner helping me through this experience.

My husband Damon - He has been incredible through this and our relationship has become stronger and we are determined to make it through this no matter what. He has been and will continue to be my rock. He has shown to me what unconditional love is and I will forever be amazed at what his love has helped me accomplish.

My Dad - he is the strong and silent type and the "fixer." He is the one that is working on getting the handicap bathroom fixed and he was the one that helped with all of the arrangements for Livi's funeral. He has been my hero behind the scene.

My Brother - he has been the one to assist through humor. Loved the blown-up wedding picture and he has been the sensitive one and the great uncle to our little Livi and has been willing to drop everything and assist in his own way.

My Arizona Father in Law - Willing to fly out at the first word and support my husband through the darkest nights of his life. To be a listening ear and to be sensitive to the relationship of loosing a child all to soon and giving his advice.

My Pleasant Grove Father in Law - Willing to give a blessing of healing, willing to stop by after getting home from a long business trip - "just to say hi." Always having a joke to bring the sunlight of laughter into the room.

May we all think about the cards we are dealt with in life and how they have shaped our lives and made us stronger. May we all recognize the "Kings in our Corner" and express to them our gratitude and love.

Stairs, Cars & Walkers - Oh my!

Yesterday I kicked butt in physical therapy and I conquered the world of stairs. Okay there were only four stairs but with my heavy boot on to protect my broken ankle it felt like I hiked Mt. Everest. When I got to the top of course their were cheers all around the gym and lots of photos were taken.

During my time in Physical Therapy I have often sat back and had emotions of envy and jealousy as the more mature ladies and gentleman in the facility would cruise right in front of me in their walkers. I thought, when is it going to be my turn to get up and cruise with a walker. A walker? Who would have thought that I completed a half marathon in Moab in the fall of 2008 and now here it is 2010 and I have to learn to use a walker to simply walk.

Yesterday I achieved the impossible. I, along with my walker completed a 54 feet walk in the physical therapy gym! It felt great as the wind in my hair blew and as the sweat dripped down my face. I told myself this is it, I am going to make it to the Olympics. I started looking for the finish line and realized - 54 feet is not much distance but it was the distance in my heart that mattered because I had achieved a great goal.

Today - Sophie Lofie and Damon Doodle Noodle - parked their cars and I learned how to slide into the passenger seat. This means freedom! Once I got into Sophie's car - I asked her to hit the gas pedal and let's go to Vegas - Then I got into Damon's car and it was the same car I always remembered it to be. I then turned to Damon and said put the pedal to the metal and let's break away from this joint. However the fear of driving came back to me.

It is going to take a lot of bravery and courage for me to be in a car and drive places. Driving is something that is going to take a long time for me to work through. Please remember to not use your cell phones while driving. I have decided to take a pledge with my "sista" from Cali that no talking or texting is worth getting in an accident. We have decided to join Oprah's no phone zone to take the pledge, I encourage you to do the same. Also, remember to wear your seat-belt, I know that wearing my seat-belt saved my life.

Cheers!

It's me Corrine - I have taken over my own blog!

Hello everyone - I have decided that I should become the author of my own blog. I have never blogged before but there is no time like now right? I want to thank everyone for their support, prayers, thoughtfulness and friendship. This experience has taught me the kindness of others, helps to heal and helps to strengthen.

Updates: I am walking now. It is more like a hop-a-long. This is how it goes. I put my right leg down on the parallel bars and then my left leg hops to it because I now can put full weight on it. It looks kind of funny but when you haven't been walking for two months - it is amazing how great it feels to actually walk. I average about 40 feet but I continue to push to make it a little bit more during my physical therapy session. I am now doing two full hours of physical therapy a day.

Things that I have learned during my experience:
* Allow others to assist you when they can but make sure that you always set boundaries.
* A smile goes a long way to others that might need a pick-me-up.
* Singing "The Wheels on the Bus" might scare other elderly residents when transporting to a doctor's appointment. (Damon)
*Sleep Sleep Sleep
* An experience that you go through - might not be for your gain but it might help others to teach from your example.

(More to come!)

And the Healing Continues

Now that Corrine is out of the brace on her left leg she is also able to put full weight on that leg.  She can also put partial weight on her right leg.  She has taken her first steps.  I don't think Corrine ever thought this day would come.  It has also been nice to see Corrine without quite as much extra gear.  I can only imagine how nice it is for Corrine to have less bulk to have to move around with. 

Corrine I know it is hard sometimes to see the progress you are making on a day to day basis.  But you are doing amazing!  Keep up the hard work.  You are one amazing women!

Another Update

I just found out that Corrine has been able to get rid of one of her accessories.  She no longer has a brace on her left leg.  YEAH!!!!!   Tonight after her surgery Corrine was in the machine that helps her keep the motion going in her knee, they had it set to bend to 65 degrees.  And in PT today Corrine was able to bend it to 72 degrees.  Way to go Corrine!  Keep up the hard work.  You are doing a great job!!! 

Birthday Celebrations and Updates

Corrine and Damon have one nephew on each side of their family.  The first on either side.  They happen to be only 11 days apart in age.  They also happen to be turning 1 this year. Monday night we had a little combined family party for them at the Rehab Center so that Corrine could be involved in the festivities.  It was a lot of fun.

In the video neither of them seem to be too into the cake, but after a little coaxing both of them got into it.  I don't have the continuing videos, but they both had fun.  It is so funny how two boys can be so different.  Once Maddex got into the cake he dug right in.  Once Kai got into the cake he didn't dig in like Maddex he was very proper for a 1 year old. 

Corrine had doctors appointments yesterday.  They were very pleased with how her wounds were healing.  In fact they are healing so well that they are no longer having to use the wound vac on any of the wounds.  Yeah, Corrine is free from the wall again.  But her Orthopedic doctor was not as happy.  Corrine had to go back into surgery again this morning.  They had to break up the scar tissue in her knee.  It has kept Corrine from being able to bend her knee past 35 degrees, she should have been able to be up to 70 by now.  Everything went really well with surgery, the doctor was very pleased with the results. 

Livi Abighail Frazier Honored

Yesterday was one of the hardest days I have ever lived through.  It was so hard to to see such a beautiful little girl laying in such a tiny little casket.  Livi was beautiful in her mom's blessing dress with a headband on that included the Frazier plaid.  Corrine looked absolutely radiant.  She had this amazing glow about her.  Damon radiated love for both of these women in his life, his beautiful wife and his little sweet pea.

A Scottish bagpiper played as we walked into the chapel that was filled with so many people who love Damon and Corrine.  After a beautiful musical number of primary songs we were soon sweetly reminded of the plan of salvation or the plan of happiness that our Heavenly Father has laid in place for us.  We were reminded of the choice we made to follow the plan of our Heavenly Father and come to earth.  We knew it would be hard, but that we were given an example of how to live so that we could return to live with our Heavenly Father and our families once again.  Our Savior volunteered to come to earth, live a perfect life, then give his life so that we could have the opportunity to follow His example, repent and return.  It was then turned to Livi and how she volunteered to come to earth to save her mother's life so that Corrine could finish her mission here on earth.  Such a selfless act of love.  Damon and Corrine were also sweetly reminded from the words of the prophets that as long as they live a perfectly as they can they will one day be able to raise this loving spiritual giant from infancy to her perfect adult state.

At the cemetery after Corrine got to go 4 wheeling through the grass,  the bagpiper again played as Livi was brought to her final resting spot by her loving uncles.  A sweet prayer of dedication was given by Damon to protect Livi until the day she would again be brought forth from the earth at the time of the resurrection.  The ground was also dedicated to be a place of healing, that all those who were to come to that spot would feel the comfort of the spirit and be calmed in their troubled hearts.  In Scottish tradition the bagpiper played one last song to accompany Livi to heaven.  We then gave one final tribute to Livi as we released pink and purple balloons into the sky.

We love this little girl and can not wait until the day that we can once again embrace her and finally get to know her.  Livi we love you more then you will ever know.

We would also like to thank everyone who came to support Damon and Corrine and their family.  We would also like to thank again Personal Touch Transportation for getting Corrine where she needed to be.  And to Larkin Mortuary for all their efforts to make these last moments with Livi as special as they were. 

Funeral Updates and Directions

With the Funeral coming the end of this week there have been a lot of questions on how to get to the church were it is going to be held. 

Directions:
Coming from either north or south you are going to take I-15 to I-80.  Take I-80 eastbound.  You are going to get off I-80 at the 1300 S. exit.  Turn Left (North) at the stop light on to 1300 E.  You are going to turn Right (East) on to 2100 S. (right by the Sizzler).  Take 2100 S. east to 1700 E. Turn Left (North) on to 1700 E.  The address of the church again is 1889 S. 1700 E.  Parking is in the back of the building.

Map to Building

The times again as a reminder are- Viewing: 9:00 am -10:30 am with the funeral to follow.

We would also like to thank Personal Touch Transportation who will be transporting Corrine everywhere she needs to be that day. 

We greatly appreciate all the help that has been given in preparation for the funeral. 

August 2

We have been playing musical apartments this weekend, thus the lack of posts.  Corrine is still doing well overall.  Some days are more tiring then others.  Friday for OT Corrine was able to go to Sweet Tomato for lunch.  They were working on how to function in public places with a wheelchair.  She said it was a really interesting experience to say the least.  She found that many public places like resturants are not really handicap accessable.  It also helped her to understand and appreciate those who have to deal with disabilities as a part of their life permanantly.  By the end of the day Corrine was exhausted and it carried over through the weekend.  It is fun to be able to see the things that Corrine can do though it is going to be a little while before her stamina is built up to where she can do all this without being worn out. 

Keep up the hard work Corrine.  We continue to pray for you.