The past couple of weeks has been difficult. We have been creating the beautiful masterpiece of the Garden Butterfly Memorial tree for the Festival of Trees for my little Livi. We put on the lights on two of the smaller items. I think of Livi and the light she was too my life. I loved being pregnant. I loved every night getting online and watching and see how she was developing, inside of me. I remember her first kicks. I remember when I found out I was pregnant. I remember where I was, what time it was and I remember telling a Dear Friend - when she saw me get of the phone with the doctors office...I was crying happy tears. Thanksgiving - Christmas are always so difficult for me. I think of the big table with the whole family seated around, laughing sharing in Thanksgiving Magic and always think there is a little girl maybe with blonde hair or maybe some strawberry blonde hair...that is gone, that is missing. As soon as I found out I was pregnant even before she was here, I had dreams and hopes that were tucked in the corner of my heart that without having her, here with me. I never realized how much those dreams were tied with heartstrings for the future.
I also think that it is really raw emotion for any Mom to have a child die, that brings up a little or big heartache around the holidays.
May we all make sure we shine our light on others and hold each other in the best of light.
Twinkle Twinkle little star do you know how loved you are?